I dropped everything to stand and stare at my TV screen as Kamala Harris walked out to deliver her concession speech. She began by saying, "My heart is full today.." As she paused, I immediately anticipated how she would finish that sentence. "Of sorrow, devastation, disappointment..." I thought. However, she went on to say something very different. "My heart is full today....of gratitude." I was stunned. I must have heard wrong. Did she just say that her heart was full of gratitude?? How can that be? She just lost the election! Nevertheless, she went on to express gratitude for the trust that we had placed in her and for the people who helped her during her campaign. Whether or not they voted for her, and no matter how they feel about her policies, I can't imagine that people would not be impressed with the example she just set for them at that moment, demonstrating the meaning of "In all things, give thanks" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
Today, I am grateful for many things, but the thing that I am most grateful for is FAMILY. By "family" I do not mean only those people who share a biological connection with us. For thirty years, I have counseled people from all types of families. I quickly learned that those who share our DNA are not necessarily "family" and that our true "family" does not necessarily share a biological connection with us. The first people to come running when you cry for help are your family. The people who know all your faults and still love you anyway are your family. The people who forgive you over and over and over again (seventy times seven times) are your family. The people who will give you their last dollar or the shirts off their backs are your family. The people who will drop everything to help you in a crisis even if its two o'clock in the morning are your family. The people who try to understand rather than judging you are family. The people who take the time to really listen to you are your family. The people who celebrate your victories and encourage you in defeat are family. Your true family are the ones who will walk in the door while everyone else is walking out. Those people are your family even if they do not share a biological connection with you. Most of us, including myself, are lucky enough to have the same people who are related to us biologically be a true family for us. Many of us are also lucky enough to have non-biological additions to that family.
The day after my mother's funeral, I came back to my pew after receiving communion at Sunday mass. I covered my face with my hands as I cried. I was not grieving for Mom alone, but for my whole immediate family. My brothers were still alive but it seemed that with my mother's passing, the family "unit" had also died. We would never again stand together like we did years ago in the first picture above. Plus, one of my brothers was moving to Georgia and I didn't feel close to the other one at the time. All I could think of that morning was how good it felt to be surrounded by all of them as a small, carefree child, my every need provided for. They continued to love, encourage and provide guidance for me throughout my adulthood. Now they were gone and I would have to face the world alone. Even though I was fifty-four years old, I was terrified. What I didn't realize is that it is rarely ever God's will for us to be alone. For me, he had a very different plan.
When Mom came to the point that she needed 24-hour care, my niece Jeanie and her family dropped everything in their Arizona lives and came to Pennsylvania to help take care of her. Jeanie and her husband, HM, took turns caring for Mom while I was at work. When Mom passed, Jeanie helped me plan the funeral. Jeanie and her family were only supposed to be here temporarily but have stayed for the greater part of three years. Jeanie's friend, Randall, joined the family shortly after Mom passed. Everyone else seemed to look upon the property that was passed down to me with some level of disgust and overwhelm. Thank God Jeanie and HM were able to see the beauty and potential in it, excited to become my heirs!
They never criticized me for having too many cats or too much clutter. They never say a word about my place when it is messy and disorganized. They only say they understand how busy I am and how hard it is to find the time to clean and organize it. They took me to the hospital when I needed surgery and cared for the cats while I couldn't. They showed me how to fix things around the house. They found a low cost trap/neuter/release program and demonstrated how easy it was to gather the feral cats and get them fixed and vaccinated. They showed me that I didn't have to worry about the cats being traumatized by the experience. Because of them, I was finally able to stop the growth of the colony.
They introduced me back into a young person's world...taking me to the beach and up four flights of steps to come down a huge water-slide. They took me on a roller coaster with a 205 foot drop and another one that crashed down at a 95 degree angle. Most Sundays throughout the year, Jeanie, HM, Randall, Sutton and I attend church and go out for breakfast, discussing our hopes, fears and dreams, encouraging and affirming each other. There is not enough room for me to mention everything that they have done for me. They have worked incredibly hard and given much without asking for anything in return. They are the perfect "second" family for me, and I thank God for them every day.
They sometimes go back to Arizona for a few months, promising that they will return soon and saying that they are only a plane-ride away if anything goes terribly wrong. They are in Arizona today and I am in Pennsylvania. I would not have minded spending Thanksgiving alone. Sometimes it is good just to have a day to rest and get caught up on work around the house. However, that wasn't what God had in mind. Not many people are able to say that they have tenants who are also good friends, but I am. Dawn and Gary also consider this old, "much in need of repairs" place - to be very special. They never complain about cats and even adopted a few strays that were living in their place before they were! Gary said a few weeks ago that he was going to order a complete Thanksgiving dinner and invited me over to share it with them. I said I would help pay for the dinner, but Gary would not hear of it. My "family" has indeed become quite large over the years. Some of them are in heaven, but many are still on Earth and my heart is full of gratitude and love for all of them.
Add comment
Comments