The Things We Have In Common

"Are you born again?" she asked. Upon hearing those words I immediately had a flood of negative images pour into my mind - preconceptions of what I thought people from evangelical faiths were like. "Oh no!" I said, with a tone that implied, "Don't worry, I'm not one of them." Ruth then said, "I am." Oh......... 

I don't remember the specific details of the conversation that followed. I just know that we continued to talk, that I shared that I was Catholic, and Ruth talked about her experience with becoming a born-again Christian. There were some things we disagreed about and the conversation started to become uncomfortable. At some point Ruth pulled out a pamphlet. She pointed to certain lines that she wanted me to read. It felt like Ruth was trying to persuade me to abandon my religion and adopt hers. I quickly pulled away, both literally and figuratively, walking off in a huff. 

That night when my father asked me how my day was, I talked about how a classmate tried to change my religion. Dad laughed and said, "Well, I bet she didn't have much luck with that." He knew how head-strong I could be. "No", I replied. "I won't be having lunch with her anymore." There was only one problem with that plan. It wasn't God's will.

I found that out later when I was ironing my clothes for the next day. My thoughts were turned around in a way that only could have happened with divine assistance. I suddenly realized that I had only been focusing on the ways that Ruth and I were different. I hadn't thought at all about the many things we had in common as two women deeply committed to their faith. We shared so many beliefs, perspectives and values. We had a shared hope that went beyond what we could see. We faced the same type of ridicule and rejection from some people who didn't share our beliefs. Most important, we both had a relationship with the Lord. When I thought about all of that, I was profoundly affected and changed. 

The next day I walked up to Ruth in the student lounge and sat down with her. Ruth seemed a bit surprised. We had a pleasant conversation and from that day on became very good friends. Ruth never tried to change my religion again (if that's what she was trying to do in the first place) and I never tried to change hers. We accepted each other as we were and enjoyed the common ground between us. I went to the store where I had purchased the "Jesus Loves Me" pin, and I bought one for Ruth.

Ruth and I were both in the campus Drama Club and both had roles in the Spring Play that we performed for the public later that semester. I had an unusual part in the play. I was playing a woman who had no eyes. I had to walk around with a flesh colored covering over my face with only a small hole that I could see through. I couldn't walk around much after the covering was on, so Ruth and another cast member sat with me in the wings while everyone else was getting their make up and costumes on. We talked about how nervous we were on opening night. Ruth suggested that the three of us say a prayer for success in the performance and no one thought that that was strange - not even one of the guys from the tech crew who was passing by and saw us holding hands and looking down. He laughed and said, "What are you praying for? For her to get her sight back?" He made a joke about what we were praying for but didn't seem to be surprised that we were praying. They say that tragedy prompts people to pray. I would say that the theatre has the same effect. My years in the Drama Club watching nervous actors before a performance has proven that backstage is where a lot of people find God. 

Ruth, the other girl, and I recited the "Our Father" together. As we did so, it became clearer to me than ever what we all had in common. The other girl (who was also Catholic), and I stopped praying when we got to the line, "Deliver us from evil". Ruth went on to say, "For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen" I could have easily prayed  the words with her because I had some history visiting Protestant churches before I became Catholic, something that I had forgotten about until that moment. 

As people from different denominations, we tend to overfocus on our differences and sometimes get into arguments about things that in the "big picture" are not very significant. If we could only stop "sweating the small stuff" and focus on all the things we have in common, imagine the power that we could share and what we could accomplish together.