The Person You Ought To Be

In a recent tribute to Gene Hackman, a clip from the movie "The Replacements" was played. In the clip, Hackman played a coach who said,  "I look at you and I see two men - the man that you are and the man that you ought to be - someday those two will meet." I believe that most people are basically good, but there is room for growth in all of us when it comes to following Jesus. What kind of a person is the person you ought to be? How would Jesus describe that person? 

"I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life..." That is the first line in a beautiful song by Michael Jackson called "Man in the Mirror", one I always think of at the beginning of lent. It is so easy to get completely caught up in thinking about what others are doing wrong and what we can do to make them change. Like that song, Jesus challenges us to start with the man in the mirror. "Take the log out of your own eye so you can see clearly to take the splinter out of your brother's" he said (Matthew 7:5). 

Lent is a very special time for Catholics. As we begin to contemplate the meaning of the Lord's passion, we are encouraged to do some extra things - to work a little bit harder at bridging the gap between the person that we are and the person we ought to be. We are called to engage in prayer, fasting and alms-giving. We are required to fast from meat during the Friday's of Lent. We have many other traditions this time of the year. One is a charity called "Operation Rice Bowl". Though not required, we are each encouraged to give up some small thing that we normally eat or drink throughout lent and give the money that we would have spent on it to the poor. I have often given up soda and sparkling water and drank tap water instead. This typically saves at least ten dollars a week. Many people pick something they enjoy like candy or ice cream and give it up for lent. One year, I gave up some of my time each week to do something for others. About once a week, I spent time with a lonely old man who had few people to visit him.   

Lent is a time to pause from our focus on everything external and to look inward. Jesus did this himself when he spent forty days in the desert before he began to preach. We are not abandoning the world. We are learning how to make it a better place, and it is not just a pipe dream to think that we can. Family counselors are taught a concept called Family Systems Theory which proposes that all family members are influenced by and influence each other. Change your approach and the others will change their reaction. The theory goes on to say that one person's change can change an entire family, and we are all a part of God's family. 

                                                  "I'm starting with the man in the mirror,

                                                    I'm asking him to change his ways, 

                                                    And no message could have been any clearer, 

                                                    If you want to make the world a better place, 

                                                    Take a look at yourself and make a change!"   

                                               From "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson (1988)